And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
