I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
