He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
