I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
