The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
