Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
