oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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