My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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