You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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