Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
