my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
