he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
