Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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