I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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