you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
