Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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