dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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