just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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