I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
