Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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