I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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