I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
