elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
