If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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