I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
