Can Purell be used as lube?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
