My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
