You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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