We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
