My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
