he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
