Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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