Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
