So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
