i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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