OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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