We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
