He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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