HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He better not be in your backpack
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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