so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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