Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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