TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
