Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize