i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
