You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
