What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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