Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
