Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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