someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
