hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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