we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize