Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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