WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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