Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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