Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
