What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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