the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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