i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
